wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im holly from the hills drunk
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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