Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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