Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize