I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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