grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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