Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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