time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize