You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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