oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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