how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
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Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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