dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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