I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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