Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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