There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
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i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
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I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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