At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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