I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
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hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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