If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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