His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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