The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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