after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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