So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
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I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
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That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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