HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize