This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
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Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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