last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
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Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
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I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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