Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
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I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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