how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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