It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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