two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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