You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Who died my cat blue again?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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