Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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