on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
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I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
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I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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