he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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