My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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