this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
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the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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