i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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