My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize