ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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