Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
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I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize