Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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