dude i'm inner monologue high
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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