Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize