His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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