I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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