im six kinds of drunk right now
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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