you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize