My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize