I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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