She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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