I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize