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okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
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